MENOPAUSE .....ENJOY IT !!!!

Life begins after the age of 40., whilst very few of us would so lightly dismiss the joys and achievements of youth. It may fairly be said that for women, new life begins at the time of the cessation of menses or menopause ,as they lay down the possibility of brotherhood and become free to plan their community activities and public life .It is a pity ,therefore ,that for so many women ,this exciting phase should be marred by a great fear of menopause ,rooted in ignorance and uncertainty.

A women’s life naturally divides itself into distinct phases ,and these may be separated by an abrupt transition ,or may merge into one another ,so gradually that the change is hardly noticed .Thus a girl passes from childhood to adolescence ,and then from

 adolescence to maturity .The curse of menstruation is accepted and like the burden of shaving in males ,it often becomes a symbol of the achievement of womanhood.

The changes during menopause are many, and varied ,and it is impossible to predict the exact changes any particular woman will experience .While some may come to a doctor complaining of apathy ,headache ,vague aches and pains , some other may be startled out of their wits by a sudden hot flush which they had never experienced before .Anyhow ,besides these physical complaints ,psychological problems in menopause play a great role .

Generally women may complain ,”Doctor ,I think I am going mad!” How often does a doctor have to reassure the frightened patient that insanity is hardly even a concomitant of menopause .This fear of insanity is unfounded, for although at the change of life, some women lose part of their feeling of security, only very few suffer a true mental breakdown thinking that she and her husband are growing too old to be useful and are becoming a hated burden to all, and that the world is harsh. These are the age old and cotemporary manifestations and menopause fear.

About half the number of menopausal women suffer some emotional strain, which may be manifested as a feeling of general inadequacy , depression , irritability or aggressiveness or, conversely, it may cause lethargy and lack of enthusiasm. A common complaint is tiredness and insomnia and if untreated , this leads further to anxiety and thus creating a vicious circle. The phase of despondency may show itself in an increased irritability, so that a woman become exasperated more quickly than usual and is liable to be peevish with her husband or irritable with her children for petty reasons.

In many a women, a tendency for self- sacrifice gets grossly accentuated and she imagine herself to be a martyr and plays this role with a bitter defiance. Sometimes such a woman can even become a terror to her husband and family., she will try to make herself a doormat to be trodden on by inciting people to misbehave with her and then bring to the fore her worst behavior.

Some women come to doctors, asking , “ What will be the effect of menopause on my married life?” It must be remembered that, sexual desires and capacity outlast the period of menstruation and are also much stronger than usually presumed to be the case. There is a deep rooted belief that sexual capacity in women lessens at the change, and this is extremely false.

The ability to enjoy the sex act actually depends on the presence of ovaries and womb. If the sexual response was good before the menopause, it will continue to be so after it, or can even be much better than before.

All these functional or psychological changes which a woman encounters at this time depends much on the level of understanding and tolerance of her husband. His understanding and tolerance of his wife’s difficulties can help her to surmount them. If the husband and the children are willing to help her in the household, it will bring in her a feeling of reassurance and hopefulness.

Apart from the medical treatment for these problems, the management of menopausal mood also requires common sense and sympathy. It is unlikely that immediate relief can be obtained when the mood has lasted many months. One thing is certain and that is, a woman must accept the fact that she has now lost the power of producing the child. But this is no reason for her to assume that she has lost every thing else. Rather she should now turn herself to the hundreds of other activities for which she previously had no time.

For the married women with children, for whom the home is the centre of interest, some way must be found to reduce the burden of daily tasks and for diversion. There are so many things at home as knitting , crocheting, cooking, gardening, decorating, dress making and so on. All of these can be taken up seriously now, for the benefit of herself and her family.

This is no time when she can really get down to her children and grand children, when she can join ladies guilds and societies; When she has the leisure for long walks and previously missed visits. This is an opportunity to her to participate in all these activities, if she has missed them earlier in her youth.

Only in a very limited sense can the menopause be said to be an involution or closing down; in most cases it can be and should be , a late opening out, an “ Autumn efflorescence “, as one can say., hence menopause must be taken as a natural phenomenon which will come in every woman’s life. Enjoy menopause , but do not treat it as a burden.